actual excerpt from an e-mail i sent today
I’m really starting to hate the new Baltimore me. He’s boring, doesn’t drink, tries to cozy up to [people] he doesn’t particularly like, and thinks he’s better than everyone else. The old me was not quite as boring, lushed it up with the best of them, was an asshole to people he didn’t like, and thought he was better than everyone else. God, how I miss him!
Before I know it, I’ll be 30, living in Suckville, a.k.a. Baltimore, drinking Natty Boh (not in a hip, ironic way), and clinging to the faded image of myself once being cool and popular, though even that’s a stretch.
Oh, woe.
Cheetoes are overrated.
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